In life, we all seek love, whether consciously or unconsciously. We all deep down, desire to lose our sense of self in the embrace of a bigger whole — that is, to feel connected with others. Most of us, however, feel disconnected and alienated and as a result we become miserable. We should analyze what could be the reason.

Lord Buddha on love and relationships: 

“Everyone is trying to find the right person, but no one is trying to be the right person.”

“Don’t allow someone to hurt you just because you love them.” 

“If you are rejected accept.

If you feel unloved, let go.

If they choose someone or something over you, move on.

Remember, in every no from someone, there is a yes to someone better.” 

“You deserve a relationship with someone who never has you guessing where you stand with them.” 

“Life doesn’t always introduce you to the people you want to meet. Sometimes, life puts you in touch with the people you need to meet to help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to gradually strengthen you into the person you were meant to become.” 

Love is, in a sense, death — the death of the ego.

“Where there is true love, there is no ego.” — Eckhart Tolle

If we focus on the this quote it may change essential things in our mind and even in our life; in most of our relationships, there is an ego. We give, demand, keep score and seek to satisfy our ego because “we can’t be spoken to like that”. In a sincere relationship, there is a flow of open and alert attention to the other person, without any desire (for compensation) and such a relationship is not controlled by the ego. This does not mean total devotion, but giving that is not controlled by fear. 

“Love does not exist outside of you, but within you — Eckhart Tolle

“All our lives we are looking to be loved. For us, love can only come from an external source — parent, spouse, child, friend, etc. The fear of loss of love or of distance and rejection shakes us and we are confident that we will need external approval for the rest of our lives. What we do not consider is that love exists within us — it is, in fact, a state of being.  

“We can wake up in the morning without a partner at our side and feel love for life, for existence, deep within us. Such love will never be lost and it will never leave us. If we think about it clearly, our need for someone to love us is first and foremost our desire to love ourselves, which is natural.” 

Love is our nature, so we should not seek love. Instead, we should remove that which is obstructing love from flowing out of our heart. 

When our heart is brimming with love, it flows out all around us unconditionally to everyone, like the sunrays, regardless of their superficial differences.