“Never making a mistake does not make us perfect. Never repeating a mistake (after we learn from it) is as perfect as we need to be.” — Tae Yun Kim

An elderly widower every morning would go for a walk, pick flowers, and continue to the cemetery to lay them on his late wife’s grave. One day, his young grandson joined him, and after they picked flowers and laid them on the grave, the elderly grandfather said to his grandson: “I wish I had picked and brought her flowers every morning while she was still alive. She would have loved it.”

“Learn from the mistakes of others… you can’t live long enough to make them all yourselves!!” — Chanakya

Nobody wants to end their life with regrets, but unfortunately, we don’t always know which decisions, choices, non-actions or actions we’re doing today will be ones we regret in a few years or decades.

Mistake that we may regret in the future:

1) We let uncertainty paralyze us 

We’ll thank ourselves later in life if we just go with uncertainty — because that’s the only way to move on. Life is unpredictable, and uncertainty can accompany every decision and interaction. To live life to the fullest, we must take calculated risks and trust that we’ll get through them safely. If we let the fear of uncertainty win, then prolonged indecisiveness will cause more harm than calculated risks. If we make a mistake, we’ll learn from it. Have the courage to make decisions despite the risks involved.

2) We waited, over-analyzed, and didn’t act

We waste too much time waiting for the ideal life path to appear before us, but it never shows up, because we forget that our life path is the one we create with our steps and not what lies ahead. It’s easy to be lazy and wait, to just waste another day, but we must decide what we want to achieve for it to happen. Action is the best weapon against fear, which only wants to paralyze us. When you find yourself at a crossroads where you’re over-analyzing the situation and hesitating without making progress, take a deep breath and decide to break the cycle you’ve got stuck in. Choose your next step wisely and take it — even if there are several options, just choose one and follow it to the end. Even if you make a mistake, you’ll learn something essential that will help you in the future.

3) We focused on failures instead of opportunities

We’ve probably already failed at something and even been hurt, but at the same time, we’ve also done things we’re proud of. We took a risk, gained something, failed at something else, and now we’re wiser than we were before. It’s better to live a life full of small failures rather than one full of regrets. We have seen toddlers learn to walk. They wobble and fall time after time, but each fall is a learning process, and they immediately get back on their feet and keep trying. Don’t be afraid of failures. Don’t spend your life thinking about why you didn’t do what you want to do now.

“Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.” — George E Woodberry

4) We based our self-worth on others’ opinions  

We tend to forget that most people judge us based on their past experiences, principles, and values, with no real understanding of who we are. If you think you are what your friends and enemies say you are, you obviously do not know yourself. What other people think of us is none of our business. We should live according to what we believe is right. Don’t let your neighbors set your standards. Be yourself. Remember that only you can realize who you truly are.

5) We tried to impress others at the expense of what truly matters to us  

In ten years, it won’t matter to us how we dressed today. What will matter is how we lived and what we learned along the way. So, there’s no point in trying to impress others, and instead, it’s better to simply be who you are. The turmoil between our true nature and what we pretend and strive to be is what we call stress or tension. Instead of being a poor imitation, be hundred percent original. Compete with yourself, not with others, and outdo your earlier performance. The desire to excel is exclusive of the fact whether someone else appreciates it or not. 

6) We held on to ideals and missed real opportunities 

We can’t lose what was never ours, and we can’t hold on to what isn’t ours, but we can certainly drive ourselves crazy trying to do so. So, stop holding on to what hurts you and make room for what feels right. Don’t let what’s out of your control interfere with all the things you can control. Say “goodbye” to what doesn’t work for you and welcome what does. For every door that closes, two others open, and there’s no reason to stare longingly at the one that shut, hoping it will open again. Instead, keep moving and never stop, so you can transition to the next chapter of your life, which will lead you to exciting and unexpected places.

7) We played the victim for too long 

If we get used to playing the victim, we will always be treated as one. Life isn’t fair, but that doesn’t mean we should let our past define who we are. Think of experiences you once had that you didn’t think you could get through — yet here you are, you got through them, and you’ll do it again in the future when more challenging times come. Don’t let challenges “crush” you, and don’t let your insecurities push you into a corner — don’t be a victim! Take a small step because the biggest mistake is standing still when you can always do something to move forward. The place where you are right now doesn’t define you, though you might believe it does and even think it’s what you deserve. The truth is that you’re exactly where you need to be, but this isn’t the final stop, just part of the path you’ve been walking for a long time and will continue — this is the path of your life. 

8) We were too busy to appreciate life 

You must work, but have a healthy balance between work, family and social life. Learn to find pleasure in simple things. Among all the advice, this is the most important, because happiness isn’t something that lasts forever. Listen to the birds chirping, watch the sunset in the evening, and enjoy the cool breeze on your face on a summer night. These are small but significant things for your inner happiness. Moments like these will keep you grounded in the present. Be grateful for everything you have right now, because even if it seems insignificant to others — for you, it is priceless. The less time you spend worrying and the more time you devote to what you’re experiencing in the present moment — the more you’ll appreciate each day and regret less about the small moments you wasted on unnecessary thoughts.

9) We didn’t spend enough time with the right people  

If we haven’t reached this stage yet, then the time will come when we’ll prefer to surround ourselves only with people who make us smile for the right reasons. We should spend time with people who help us love who we are and make us feel good. Avoid people who make you unhappy. Never say you’re too busy to make time for the people who genuinely love you. Remember that there’s nothing more meaningful you can give them than your time and attention. Quality time together means listening and opening up to each other, without looking at the watch or waiting for the next item on your schedule.

10) We didn’t openly express our love 

Sadly, we will all lose people we love throughout our lives. No matter how much time we spend with someone who is important to us, we will never feel like we had enough time together in the end, and it’s best not to learn this lesson the hard way. Express your love in every way and every day you have together and say to the people who matter to you what they need to hear from you. Don’t feel ashamed just because it makes you uncomfortable — you’ll regret much more not taking the opportunities you had to do so. They may not always understand us perfectly because not all of us can express our love exactly as we feel it in our hearts, but we should still try as much as we can to say what’s important to us. If there’s someone you appreciate, tell them today, and if there’s anything else that’s important for you to say — don’t keep it inside. Our heart will remain broken with every word we’ve trapped inside. 

The bitterest tears are shed on the grave for deeds that were left undone and the words that were unsaid.