The world is full of all kinds of people, and while some of them might fill our lives with love and contentment, there are others who appear to only exist to use and abuse us. When constantly surrounded by self-centered people, it can be quite hard to cope with, and it can take quite a toll on our self-confidence and stress levels. We need to know how to deal with selfish people.

1) Understand the root cause of their selfishness.

We should be able to deal with them more easily by understanding what motivates their negative behavior. Are they just cruel and inconsiderate, or do their selfishness stem from insecurity, fear, or anxiety? Gathering insight about the root cause of their selfishness will help us respond in a way which does not aggravate the situation.

2) Don’t take it personally.

Even if selfish behavior makes us tremble with rage, we should always try our best not to take it personally. We need to keep in mind that a selfish person is somebody with a persistent underlying problem. If they question a decision that we believe is right, then it is probably because they’re thinking of how it will impact them and aren’t taking our needs and feelings into consideration.

3) Don’t get defensive.

When selfish people criticize us, we should not get defensive. We need to take everything they say with a pinch of salt and treat them as another noncredible source. Getting mad will only make things worse.

4) Realize that selfishness is healthy sometimes.

All of us are selfish to a certain extent — some more, some less. Occasionally, it’s good to be a bit selfish and do something for ourselves. Constantly working for and supporting others can be draining and can also set us up to be abused. The biggest issue arises when selfishness is not just a necessary escape but becomes an entire way of life.

Do not be a doormat.

5) Set boundaries.

We need to set distinctly identifiable boundaries to protect ourselves from selfish people. We must speak up for ourselves as soon as we feel uncomfortable, and we must keep in mind that people are more likely to act selfishly if we let them keep getting away with it.

6) Don’t feed their selfishness.

If we need to deal with selfish people daily, the last thing we want is to be actively making their flaws worse. We should never praise or reward them for anything they obtained selfishly and never give in to their selfish demands.

7) Don’t change your personality.

We should never change for anybody but ourselves, and this is especially true when it comes to dealing with self-centered people. If we do, what is to keep them from walking away from us, leaving us permanently changed for the worse? We should concentrate on our own values and spend time with people whose positivity will rub off on us.

“Be selfish with your time. Many people do not deserve it.”

8) Be patient.

Always try to remain calm and avoid overreacting. Many selfish individuals have undergone past experiences which have caused them to develop dysfunctional self preservation techniques. By viewing them with compassion instead of contempt, we can continue to hold them accountable for their actions, without aggravating the situation.

“Selfish people lose so much in life because even when they realize they are wrong, they don’t know how to ask for forgiveness or show regrets.”

9) Decide if they are worth keeping in your life.

If the person in question is a family member, then this decision will be incredibly tough to take, yet in extreme cases it may be for the best. If this person is reducing your quality of life, and you have tried everything else in this guide, then cutting all contact might be the only way forward.

“Relationships are not designed for selfish people…”