By Luminita D. Saviuc

Here is a list of 15 things, which, if we give up on them, will make our life a lot easier and we’ll feel much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress, and suffering, and instead of letting them all go and allowing ourselves to be stress-free and happy, we cling on to them.

Well, not anymore. Starting today, we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change.

1) Give up your need to always be right.

There are so many of us who cannot stand the idea of being wrong, wanting to always be right, even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain for us and for others. It is just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question from Dr. Wayne Dyer: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2) Give up your need for control.

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you — situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, co workers, or just strangers you meet on the street, just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are, and you will see how much better that will make you feel.

3) Give up on blame.

Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or do not have, for what you feel or do not feel. When the cause of suffering is diagnosed to be a person, it leaves one with a sense of victimhood. And along with it come anguish, resentment, and a deep desire for retribution. This process continues unabated and over time becomes a stockpile of hate. All violence, racial discord and interpersonal strife are just manifestations of this perceived ‘victimization’ that is derived from our obsession to somehow fix the blame. Remember, everybody’s life is shaped by his / her destiny, which has now become his / her reality. We have only ourselves to blame for all the experiences of misery and sorrows and are also responsible for all the happiness that comes in our lives, which is the result of our own past karma.

Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4) Give up your self-defeating self-talk.

How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted, and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Do not believe everything that your mind is telling you, especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5) Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible.

From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind; it is an idea that holds the mind.” — Elly Roselle

6) Give up complaining.

Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many things, people, situations, and events that make you unhappy, sad, and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy; no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It is not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7) Give up the luxury of criticism.

Give up your need to criticize things, events, or people who are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy; we all want to love and be loved, and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and we all wish something.

8) Give up your need to impress others.

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others love or like you. It does not work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

Be yourself. Don’t imitate others. Instead of being a poor imitation, be a hundred percent original. The turmoil between our true nature and what we pretend and strive to be is what we call stress or tension.

9) Give up your resistance to change.

Change is inevitable. Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and the lives of those around you. Embrace change; do not resist it.

“Follow your bliss, and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.” — Joseph Campbell

10) Give up labels.

Stop labelling things, people, or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different, and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.

11) Give up on your fears.

Fear is just an illusion; it does not exist; you created it. It is all in your mind. Correct the inside, and the outside will fall into place.

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12) Give up your excuses.

Many times, we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck and lie to ourselves, using all kinds of excuses, excuses that, 99.99% of the time, are not even real.

13) Give up the past.

This one is hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening. But you must take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for, the past that you are now dreaming about, was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Make peace with your past so that it does not mess up your present. We cannot change a single moment of our past, but we can ruin the present by having regrets about the past and worrying about the future. Learn from the past and move on.

Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. Life is a journey, not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14) Give up attachments.

This is a concept that, for most of us, is so hard to grasp, but it’s not impossible. What is given to us will be one day taken away. It includes the instrument called the body through which we function in this world.  So do not hold on to things that do not belong to you. We never really possess things. We merely hold them for a while. If we are unable to give them away, they hold us back. Don’t possess nor be possessed.

We get better and better at it with time and practice. The moment we detach ourselves from all things (and that does not mean we give up our love for them because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another. Attachment comes from a place of fear while loving well, real love is pure, kind, and selfless; where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love can never co-exist), we become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. We will get to a place where we will be able to understand all things without even trying — a state beyond words.

15) Give up living your life to other people’s expectations.

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them; they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them; to what their friends, their enemies, and their teachers, their government, and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, and what they need, and eventually, they forget about themselves. Do not let your neighbours set your standards. You have one life. You must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

It is nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.